Happy Breastfeeding Week!

My diaper bag was on the news..
Nqmd and I were also ...

Kinda cool.
Over sixty babies were at the "latch on" today.
Amazing numbers for the first try in this city.
Will link to the Breastfeeding challenge website later.
Too tired, too lazy and too infuriated with the inlaws...
*note do not tell in-laws to watch t.v. in the hopes they will like seeing their granddaughter... oh no. It will garner the whole

"You know not everyone can breast feed mm. It was really upsetting because stupid c/s he ain't gonna marry ya even after you've had a baby cousin was really upset by that! She feels bad that she didn't get to breastfeed sad pathetic exposed to cigarette smoke daily by "dad" baby. I wish we hadn't watched the news."

- well if she'd have taken my advice in regards to birth (problems with baby and mom post surgery do not help with bf)... or perhaps the pediatrician who brings in 12 thousand a year to that hospital from the formula companies (this is published publicly... Like it is something to be proud of?!)...

But then again. I'm just a rotten daughter in law who deserves to be treated like dirt on m-i-l's whims...

I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...
I married him, not his parents...

I dislike organized groups...

Sometimes I just don't understand what I saw in the advocacy group I "used" to be a part of. edit I was never really a part of it. Only to cash my cheques and send me nasty notes talking about how I could pay a ridiculous amount of money to further my healing ... then I could join the ranks.

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense that these groups put themselves out there and say "all are welcome" "this is a safe place to go" "please join our group" "no one will ever be turned away".

cough snort sputter.

Today on my usual Friday peek into the vault. There they were trashing a midwife... The loudest was spouting almost the exact same sentiments (different situation) that I had... but against this woman. Yet, I'm the one who isn't "healed".

Excuse me while I puke.

If you hate OB's, fine. If you despise GP's, fine. If your last midwives screwed you and you ended up with a c/s, fine. BUT DO NOT TRASH OTHER MIDWIVES WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERY SINGLE CLIENT THEY HAVE EVER HAD....
And do not... do not go spouting your views of "if you want to do it right, it has to be this way!". Your choices are not for everyone. Your decisions are not the ones that others should emulate.
Everyone has to do the best they can.
With what they have.

So the seven people who have left the group in the last couple of weeks.
Good for you.
The powers that be... seem to be the only ones who have it right, I had to get used to it after the fact... thank goodness you escaped while you could.

On that note. I am taking the money I had squirreled away to go to the conference and putting it to good use.

bah...


*cheese therapy soon... soon... soon!!!!

Cheese therapy day!

Have new jeans hemmed and somewhat fitted.
Have money to purchase the therapy.
Have milk pumped and in fridge.
Have happy happy thoughts about escaping! wheee.

Tomorrow is the breastfeeding challenge at the legislature.
WOO HOO!
Have a new nursing shirt that can be worn as a regular shirt eventually, for the occasion!

Have wonderful papers on ptsd trigger coping techniques.
Must make them work. 'Cause when an ambulance comes racing to the school your monster attends you can not dissolve into a sobbing puddle. Cry yes, puddle no.
I was kinda proud of myself. I did quite well. The poor vice principal was a little taken aback. Monster #1 decided to explain that

the ambulance took my sister to the hospital to make her feel better and that makes mommy sad.

Whoa.
Gotta get my act together. This can't be healthy for him. And by the way kiddo, she was perfectly fine, the rules said she had to go to the hospital...
and the rules sucked that night.

WAAAAA!

Okay, this "lets name the body part" game is TOO COOL!
So we went off this morning... yeah showing up two hours before I expect you is not exactly cool on the first impressions of my house idea... just saying.
So we went off to the second hand store.
Had a lovely time finding something to throw up in on the open girder bridge that for some strange reason decided to aid the morning sickness patterns. *we came home via a different bridge, just to be safe.
We had Sausage McMuffins.
We had large amounts of hot smoothies from Tim Hortons.
I got to listen to baby again!

Oh man the "palpatation" was too cool!
The husband was sweet and forgiving.
He walked me through the whole "how does one feel a baby on another human being".
Thanks.

On a purely professional note.
I am not in any way actually doing any "medical care", this is Sue's way of kicking me in the butt for giving up on midwifery as a profession. I told her to talk to me after this next baby comes... or a third. I was given a nasty look from that comment.
It is so cool. So neat, so amazing. Slight twinge of wanting just one more
, then I remember nqmd's first few minutes. Those hours of waiting. These intense feelings I'm having now as her birth day comes closer... yes, that was the middle of the night post that never made it to the light of day.

Now I am off to scrounge out some caffeine in the hopes of stopping this amazing pain I'm feeling in my head. I don't drink coffee... but I get withdrawal migraines/headaches. Not fair.

Debating watching ER tonight. Last Thursdays had me sobbing on the couch. Why I keep watching it is beyond me...

Okay this not sleeping thing sucks!

I am so tired.
WHY can't I sleep?

Tomorrows agenda
Get monster #1 to school.
Get sausage mcmuffin.
Get duvet for mother.
Get large feather for Peter Pan costume.
Continue knitting hat for nqmd.

Get hands on beautiful belly of a friend.
Play where is the baby today? on aforementioned belly.

Somewhere in there I will pick up monster #1 from school.
Oh and meet father of baby, husband to the belly clad friend. Yeah, and apologize for making a crack about DWB being a place to pick up a husband...

Life is good... if I don't pass out from exhaustion.
Still a bit of stomping. I had a bit of a cry about it... I mean why? C'mon why this family? Haven't you taken enough from them! Stomp stomp stomp...

*oh dear I am going to get to feel a baby through a belly... that is so freaking cool!!! And so freaking scary! It is one thing to be poking around at your own little monsters with your own hands... how do you guage how deeply one prods? YIKES!
And I'd like to make mention that you are not helping me with the whole I'm not going to be a midwife thing by doing all these things!!!

Stomping my feet ...

Just like the monsters.
An online friend whose child died last fall was second trimester pregnant...
Today after my fourth e-mail... her husband told me the fates had visited them again.

WHY?

Not happy. Not happy at all.

I know that life isn't fair... but sometimes I think that heaping it on one family is a little much.

don't you?

This computer...

Needs to die... as soon as I get a new one!
I had a great post, a spill all the crap in your head and feel better for it post.
It was good, it was cathartic... it was GONE.
I just finished the spell check and the computer had a stroke.

I would have screamed but it was around three in the morning....

So instead of dredging up all that again in the light of day. Which is not as easy as it is at night when the sirens are much clearer, the thoughts are much more rapid and the brain isn't editing things out that you aren't sure you want to share after all. You will get a update on "the baby you still worry about if she'll be okay".

The screaming while standing has ceased... somewhat. Only reserved for when she is stuck, mostly crib leaning.
She somehow caught on to waving this weekend. I was walking down the sidewalk, about to go on an errand, and waved goodbye to the monsters... there she was sitting on dads knee waving away at me. She did it again today for my parents.
Clapping is reserved for when siblings are around. I don't get any clapping. Oatmeal stuck to hands requires clapping though... so we are going to be having oatmeal for breakfast tomorrow. Just to make sure it isn't a fluke.
She loves pumpkins. We now have three. One very large pale orange one, one mid to largish bright orange one and a wee little one. The last two complements of Sue's parents. They sent them in with my parents. I'm so glad she likes pumpkins. Having a birth day so close to Halloween. =)
*I always said I wanted a Halloween baby, one decided to not join our family back in 2003 and the week I started to miscarry is the week we noticed nqmd was on her way in 2005.

Ahhhhhhhhh sleep.

Whew. FINALLY there was a little sleep around here. Enough to give the 'ol mammary glands a run for their money and my clothing a good soaking. I am not complaining!
Yesterday was purely wonderful.
A beautiful crisp autumn day.
Good friends (adults and children)
Good food (pizza for lunch, burgers on the bbq for supper)
Huge pumpkins and fresh produce from a farm that was blessed with a wee baby after so many losses.
And sleep... sweet blissful sleep.

Now this getting up at 5:30 is probably not going to help me at all... but there are cinnamon buns to be made for church. One batch with raisins, one with cranberries. Didn't think about most of the males in our congregation may not be friends with cranberries... whoops.
I'm getting a whiff of the dough, demarra sugar, cinnamon and spices as I sit here freezing my butt off. drooling...

I was reminded recently by my friend Sue to make sure that I clarified that her time at Doctors Without Boarders/MSF was a good thing. It is an organization that does so much and is a very integral part of trying to make the world a better place... Heck you found a husband with them too, not just a feeling of fulfillment... why yes, that is mocking if you haven't caught on yet...
If you hadn't brought the distraction in the form of a fetoscope I'd never have gotten past the scars from your last few days there.

Did I not mention that I got to use a fetoscope?!

I did.

Great heaving sigh.... I even placed it perfectly on the first try... apparently I get to try my hands at "which limb is which" next visit... this woman knows how to make me happy and depressed at the same time!

Well it is after seven... time to check on the buns...

I'm tired now. Time to go back to bed... snort here come the monsters.

sleep?

I'm not dressed.
The monsters are not dressed.
Nqmd was up all night.
AGAIN.
Monsters were up until 10:40 bickering with each other.
Nqmd can't seem to sleep for more than two hours at a time.
Husband was kind enough to make me a list of things we need to have done by the end of the weekend.
I dislike him, a lot.
I made sure he heard nqmd each time she woke up.
I did not answer his queries as to what her issue was.
We need to leave in fifteen minutes.
And we all started our day at 6:17...


I quit.
Sincerely
mom

She stands...

And she hates it.
Poor nqmd... Who by the way is getting much more monsterish than not quite monsterish!
Anyway, she gets to standing then screams in the most God awful way... I mean the scream of absolute terror, the scream of complete and total horror. This kid scares me to death. Okay, so she's scared me to death since her birth. But really... don't get up on the feet if it isn't where you want to be. Trust me I can live with commando crawling (and no she is very rarely going commando while crawling, hardwood floors people) for a bit longer. I swear.
I need an outside opinion, but I do believe that she is getting teeth a full month or two earlier than she should. I don't trust my view though, I'm trying to rationalize the getting up every single hour thing during the dark time of day... you know night.
Of course my littlest monster has always done things her own way, showing up a full two years early (whoops), three and a half ounces bigger than she should have been (first two monsters were the exact same weight), that whole "no respiratory effort, no tone, minimal heartbeat... Yeah drama queen is so the proper title from birth for this kid!

On a more pleasant note. Tomorrow is the first doula continuing ed night. WOO HOO! There will a new baby or two to see... yipee!
World Breastfeeding Week is coming up. There will be a Breastfeeding Challenge at the Legislature at the end of the month! I am so there! With obnoxious t-shirt in tow!
The sun is shining this afternoon.
Husband is away until late.
Kids are reasonable now that they've been fed.


Live is Good.


* seven OHMYGOODNESSI'MONMYFEETHELPMEHELPMEHELPME!!! recues, two butt plants and one brotherly haul across the couch and this post is done... drama queen is too tame a title!

so much to say....

-The completed wardrobe that greeted me thanks to amazing techie friend and her family!
-My mothers continued irritation at my poor parenting.
-The absolute head shaking question of "why" the car pool gal is having a baby.
-Why is it that I am a good week post hormonal unbalance... and I still dislike my husband... that in itself should warrant a visit to a therapist no doubt, but heck if I can't even get some ptsd help. yeah... lets not go there.
-The dogs insistence of climbing on the bed in the middle of the night.
-My visit with my friend Sue. I close my eyes and see her coming in the door, I want to throw up. I'm going to get these emotions out in the drafts folder, not sure if I "should" share it. She wasn't joking, ER take on it was a trip to Sesame Street. Yes, Sue... I hear you and thank you for letting me into your life, I might share it... but for now I'm going to sit and stew and write and wonder about your offer to come to your birth. Not that I'll make it in time =^O!!!
-Trying to stop visiting a midwifery blog, where her baby did not resuscitate. I know I need to stop reading... it is so painfully raw, so frighteningly close to what my life could have been. I feel like I'd be as bad as the friends and neighbors who have stopped coming by or talking to her. Yet, I know it isn't good for me to keep reading.
-getting Peter Pan and Tinkerbell costumes sewn.

All blogged up and cranky.
blech.

The oldest person hurt in the latest Montreal rampage/shooting/higher education institution... take you pick...
Anyway, the person of the most advanced age was all of somewhere in their forties.
Automatically rules out Dr. N
Still no word from his household. But everyone who knows him is feeling a bit better despite the silence. No doubt there would have been friends and family who have been deeply affected.
And to answer my friend from South of the boarder.

I thought you Canadians were supposed to be more civilized than growing attempted mass murderers

Nope, we grow our very own. Don't think importing them is part of the NAFTA agreement? And they are just as awful as anywhere else on the planet.

G'night all.
I am going to bed very soon. There wasn't much sleep to be had last night. And my patience with the monsters was less than stellar today... I'm not proud. Not at all.
So here is to getting a few hours extra in!
*unless ER starts tonight, then I shall be hollering at the t.v. for making "birth" such a freaking life or death issue. Again.

Guess everyone has a blog huh?

Here is this mornings Gazette out of Montreal.
Guess the gunman had a blog too.
If people can ask God for trivial things like good airline tickets and thank him for taking the offer on their home.... I can ask that L and his family are okay right?
C'mon someone let us know what is going on!!!

Dawson College

My most favorite prof teaches there.
No one has gotten through to his house.
No one has gotten through to his wife, at work (Concordia) or home.
Their eldest son has a voice mail message saying he was heading home for some family time with this afternoon as his departure.

Please let him be okay.

And by the way God... what the heck is the problem with Montreal? I mean really?! How much more can they take?! C'mon this is getting to be a little much. I have people I love there. I want to take my children there and show them my old stomping grounds, where my grandparents lived. Where their grandfather lived and worked, the mosque where they were married (breathe people, it was a Presbyterian church in the 60's)... Bens. My children will know a Bens special! I want to walk through the grounds of Concordia. I want to walk Atwater and all the neat shops. So yeah, not so happy!

I'm sure his wife is busy helping out at the makeshift centre set up for the student from D. College. It is actually quite a nice walk between the two schools. Their son is a freelance photographer... work combined with making sure mom and dad are okay? Please. Just give Ari a call you twit! Okay, so I'm the same age, but I'm allowed to call him a twit in times of worry... right? Call Ari and then we can all know that everything is okay.

or not.

Just let him be okay. I just read a paper he gave at a conference over the summer. There is too much he can still contribute. And I still need to meet him at Bens one night to talk Kirkegaard. We still have differing attitudes over one of his books... must have time to argue it again... just one more night sitting up drinking too much caffeine, eating, laughing, thinking. One more night.

Please be okay L... I promise I'll never call you by your proper title (Dr. N____) again.

There are days.... I'd like to be single again.

him: Hi there I'm just leaving
me: How was the meeting?
him: It was cancelled, going to have it on Friday after school.
me incredulous: it was cancelled and you are just leaving NOW?
him defensive and snarly: well I got a lot of stuff done.
me thinking... the next time you complain I never want to spend time with you, that I don't bother to stay up with you, or heck that I never seem to want to talk to you.... remember that you could have been home earlier one or two nights this week. That you could have told the carpool gal that "no it isn't okay to switch off driving" so that you drive ten of the twelve first days of school, we both know she'll pull a guilt trip on you if you ask her to drive an extra day at some other point. And that I seriously wonder why on earth you leave so early in the morning if not to "get things done so you can leave at the end of the day without any worries" that one is your quote. Yours. And I no longer believe a word of it.
I can hardly wait for March. At least then I know I won't ever have a car. Husband is going to end up optional for a while yet. The wardrobe has arrived. Yeah, getting that together will be such a joy...
Will someone please shoot me now!!!

*the dog just threw up... lovely.

no no no! You can't!

Just spent the last seven minutes watching nqmd pull herself to a standing position. Up, wobble, down. Up again.
no! no! no! You can not do that quite yet. We need to enjoy sitting and creeping a bit longer! Please?
C'mon sweetie, learn to do the crawl everyone assumes is "true" crawling first. Standing is over rated!!!
Just stay the baby a bit longer.... please.

Whoops she did it again!

So the pop princess did it again!
As in another c/s.
Yeah, such a great role model for girls about birth.

Get the scar, it's cool.

After reading the last few articles about how c/s's without due cause is actually more dangerous than the .... what is it? Oh yeah, the birth canal... that thing that National Geographic was kind enough to point out how we've had to adapt the babies movements to get it out. Darn us for going bi-pedal. Such a silly thing to do, makes childbirth more dangerous! Scalpels everyone!!!
Feeling a little peeved in general this morning. Apologies, sick of being sick and tired.
Well, lets chalk Ms. Spears up with Brooke Shields... sorry Brooke, I know you did a lot to spread awareness about post partum depression. But honey, you brought it on yourself. What is it dear Barb? Buy the hospital ticket, get the hospital ride? Its all up to you if you want to go on that ride again!
Yo! VBA2C friend, even if it ended in a very warranted c/s, at least you knew your options and chose the path of educated woman! Baby came out all the better for all that great labour you had!
Which brings me to the schadenfreude part of my post... me thinks Ms. Spears was exposed to labour... the horror! I have doubts she would have scheduled it for 2 a.m. Poor kid, all those great hormones and get ripped out of mama because she doesn't want to "hurt".... must retch now.
*vba2c friend brought up that 2 am is easier to avoid paparazzi... but really, Pebbles? You register under the name Pebbles and don't expect people to mock you? yeah... huh.

Ahhh Ikea!!!

Is arriving tomorrow...
Between 9 and 17:30. yeah, okay. Nothing like a definitive time huh? Shall we all hope I'm not on the way too or from school? yes, lets hope!!!

Nqmd is having a blast pulling herself up to her knees now. Thoroughly disgusted another mom at the school today, she is as tall as her 18 month old.
On her knees. I didn't think it would help to point out that she (mom) wasn't that tall either, so genetically it seemed to fit... but I didn't utter a word about it. I just joked about nqmd being too tall for her own good and how I was so worried about her lack of reading the baby books and sitting up in the proper time line.

Quite a few blogs have gone to "beta"... yeah, have I mentioned I'm not so technically savvy? I'm also working on a machine that has mini strokes. In fact it has massive breakdowns that cause me to holler and rant and rave at it...
*note to self, watch the language in front of monster #1 ... learning that one the hard way!
So for now, until the new laptop appears... have I mentioned how much I dislike lawyers? ugh, having guilt saying that. Anyway until such time as I have a reliable computer, I guess I'm out of luck commenting on "beta" blogs. sigh...

Time to go to bed. Must be freshly rested to argue about the new piece of furniture with husband who well... does not like to read instructions, and is less than thrilled with Ikea instructions. Thirteen boxes. Oh man... someone shoot me now!

Monday, Monday!

Monster #1 was deposited at school.
Monster #2 threw a fit.... doubt there will be any problems with him going to school when his time comes.
Nqmd is sleeping... Luckily for her! For some reason she has decided to master the art of sucking on her thumb and breast. yeah, not so comfortable. But amazing to watch the physical moves she makes to get fingers and thumb in line so she doesn't miss out on the milk... Okay, pretty darn amazing, if not so comfortable for mama!
Happy Anniversary to my brother and his wife. Thirteen years of shift work and two boys, a new home and well... yeah. Happy anniversary.
Yes, I'm aware it is another anniversary. It isn't that I don't care, I do. But I'm not so sure we need to keep revisiting it... how about the thousands of people who have died on either side of the "war"? Having had more Canadians die in the last few weeks than since the second world war... not so pleased. Top that off with a chat with my friend who is having serious ptsd problems from her own time in a world of conflict. Never would have imagined what she has seen. ER did it's own spin, but as she said... it was fairly tame. Yeesh, and I had a hard time with both storylines when they aired. I am glad she is home with her husband and daughter and... new little one coming! So excited! What a difference this birth will probably be! Last one was in the staff quarters with a midwife from the village and her husband (doctor, but not interested in catching babies thank you very much!), because the doctors and midwife on staff were in another area that night. She is hoping one of the midwives will find a little room for her. With the precipitous birth she had last time... wonder what this one will bring?! I hope she has some time to heal a bit more emotionally before baby comes. She is going on the hunt for a doula this week.
Well, I should be emptying the dishwasher.
Filling it with more dishes.
Working on a few things for the committee I am the chair of ... ahem. GET OFF YOUR ASS mm! is more appropriate! yikes.
But alas, I am content at the computer. Monster #2 is watching the Rescuers Down Under. So I really should do something while he is sitting quietly!
Ah yes... Please speak up people! I beg the question whether or not dance is a "physical activity" according to the government. Just take a look at those teenagers coming out of a half hour class totally exhausted! I also heard that certain water sports were up for debate too... Harrumph!!!
Not just the "manly sports" should count!
Send your comments to this person! And do it NOW! Before it is too late!!!

Despite being the bad parent that I am....

Perhaps I'll actually get to lose some weight with all the stair climbing I've been doing in the dead of night? please?
This is the third time I've been up for one or another child.
Makes me almost want to go to bed in my own bed on the same floor as the children... almost. Seeing as husband has not deemed it necessary to drag his sorry ass out of bed even to check on monster #2 when he howled... but did demand "what was his problem?!" in the dark as I try to sneak down the creaky stairs again.... I refrained from answering "he is two and on occassion wakes up in a tizzy."
Nope, not feeling so friendly.
I told him not to pick up Tylenol 1, I was going out later.
big hint, I'm leaving the house and I will pick up the pain killers for my raging headache.
What does he do in a fit of niceness? He picks up a lovely little bottle of Tylenol 1, as in thirty. Who knew it came in that small a quantity?! And of course a bottle of 100 regular or is it extra strength Tylenol.
sigh...
It almost comes to me forcing one down his throat to take anything for a headache with this guy.... I on the other hand, NEED the codeine to actually put a dent in the pain.
He was nice, he thought he'd pick up the stuff before coming home... he was nice.
WHO GETS ONLY THIRTY? ugh.... be nice, be nice, be nice...
Oh and it just dawned on my addled, almost pain ridden brain that perhaps other than the brain wave of enormous possibilities that the intrepid midiwery student (direct link to photo people! Don't be shy! I personally like the self-mocking of her new do! Shows the depth of character!) ANYWAY, I finally clued in that maybe ears are burning in "horror" that she too did not like to stand still for Oh Canada... like my five year old monster! hee hee hee.
Hi, I'm mm and I have no brain.
See there is a reason that I do not go back to school at this point in my life! Let alone take on clients... well except for those June babies that come on the heels of the PE teachers turkeys... ahhh I needed that laugh... sorry. Apologies to PE teachers who birth children the size of turkeys!
Going out was the excuse to go and get these...
On sale... they were on sale! Mushrooms!
Okay, so the leotard/tights issue is spilling into shoes...

So the dress was on sale too... who can resist hedgehogs and mushrooms? well, not me! I was a lost cause the minute I saw the shoes...

Burning ears...

Okay, apologies for burning your ears dear midwifery student in the big city to the East!!! I'm afraid I'm kinda lazy with the linkage when the children are all wide eyed and bushy tailed. For those of you who actually read my drivel... I know there must be more than the few who comment... HINT HINT!!! Anyway, for those of you who read, you can find a photo of our intrepid midwifery student up on her blog, go now! It was nice to see the face that goes with the writing.
I apologize, for the singed ears as well as making you snort with laughter over my sewing plans at your workplace. Humble apologies!
Just got a note in my e-mail about a new plan to bring a 3/4D ultrasound to our city. Privately. Around 200$ for a session.
Not sure how I feel about it, as it would not be used as a diagnostic machine. That and it is a midwife (former midwife? will have to wait another week or two until the new roster is out for this coming year) who is proposing it. Yeah, just a little torn. Rather see her attending births I guess. She was damn good. And I only got to hang out with her for a few hours. damn good.

*
HEY! Maybe I shouldn't apologize! Maybe I'm making you smarter? Burning ears can be a good thing!

First Kindergarten meeting

So it went incredibly well. Frighteningly well.
There is a side door to go in to get to the classroom. Which will be a little easier than the front entrance. I can probably leave the wagon/stroller there for the few minutes to get him in and to the classroom. This school does not have any handicap access. Guess those who would need it have to go to another school... hate to have a kid with crutches at that school though! yeesh!
Monster #1 listened for the most part. He will have to get used to having to stand up (and still) for the national anthem. He decided that he was "too tired" today.
Teacher is a hoot! Know her midwife quite well, caught her up to date on what this woman is doing. She also showed me the parent drop in centre. Which is where monster #2 had his fit because he certainly believed parting with the toy he was playing with warranted a massive melt down. Ahhhh two more years and he can go to preschool! Woo hoo.... ugh I had hoped it started at age three... shucks.
So for the hour + of my life that I lost last night with my husband hollering ahem, speaking to me like a naughty student about how I should behave, how I have to behave as a parent, how I have to.... blah blah blah.... It was all for nothing.
Things went just fine.
Now whether or not I feel like being on speaking terms with my husband by the time he decides to show up tonight is another matter. Then again, I'm a pretty self centred horrible parent to begin with, who makes his life incredibly difficult.
yeah... not ready to be friends yet. Talk to me once I've "sucked it up".

Dad is back to work!

And so far this mom to monsters is doing okay.
Dishes done.
Squirrel fed.
Dog not too abused.
Coloured with markers, crayons, pencils and pens.
Made sandwiches.
Made sour dough starter for aromatic wonderful bread all winter long if it doesn't get messed up. *no husband, stirring it with a metal spoon is not helping!
Messed up the thermostat, yet again.
Fed the monsters and tucked them into bed... yes all of them.
When you get up before seven a.m. , the I don't nap anymore rule goes out the window! Bizarrely enough he wanted to have a nap.
There it is, the warning that the apocalypse is coming gang! That and Mr. Britney Spears with a speaking part on CSI.
EEEEWWWWWWW!

On a happy note.
Wardrobe is on the way!
I can draw a very good likeness of George Shrinks, which helps when you do not have a printer and monster #1 surfs pbskids in search of colouring pages!
House starts up again tonight.
I am not a raving lunatic!
WOO HOO

Some of the details

Upon investigation mom was found to be 10 cm's on Saturday. With a cervical lip.
Baby A (no the name does not start with A, just using A & B as examples) was still in a posterior position and had his head at an odd angle. Much fuss and page turning later, as in looking up exactly how odd an angle without having to go get an ultrasound, all was fairly clear. They used a fetoscope and found a much clearer heart rate and that confirmed where he was!
Now to try and coax him to a better position. Chiropractor anyone? yes indeed!
After trying to sleep in "the most uncomfortable position to try and get some sleep!" mama got up with really crampy feelings at 4 in the morning. Quite a bit of bumping and squirming and a rather serious "pop" was felt. Baby got turned around.
An hour and a half of "really serious contractions" later.
TA DA!!!
Next baby came shortly afterwards and the placenta(s) even faster.
When mama called me an hour or so later neither of them had stopped to give her a break with nursing! One of the funniest moments was when I heard her say, "Oh right, guess we have to burp you don't we?".
Someone was there to weigh them after I got all these details, so I told mama to go and take care of herself and I'd talk to her again soon.
In the interest of keeping things fairly safe and sound. I won't go into who was and was not there. There was someone, but I'm not going to get into whom and what kind of training they have in childbirth and immediate postpartum care. I only caught a few snippets of it, in a post baby hormonal high.
Congratulations mama.
Congratulations family!
Welcome little men. Looking forward to hearing your names when your parents decide!
*wish I'd thought of having a "figuring out names is too stressful while pregnant, not up for discussion" rule in my house!

boys!

First boy arrived at 5:20, his brother twenty nine minutes later.
First boy was ansylitic... hence the dilation, but cervical lip from Hell.
Both are yet nameless, as is the family tradition. They were about to be weighed when we were talking... so I let mama go and be with her family.
More details later.
Welcome to the world little baby boys!
I'm sorry, but I did voice my concern over whether or not to congratulate mama or not!
LOVE YOU! Thank you for finally arriving!

Your guess is as good as mine!

Anyone want to volunteer to call her?


Didn't think so.

I PROMISE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW AS SOON AS I DO.
REALLY I DO!



sigh....

Anyone wanna make some bets?
If it is this type of thing keeping her from writing/calling etc... Completely forgiven...

Just spent a completely fruitless ahem photoless half hour or so trying to get a picture of cephalic twins in utero. BAH!
Seems that just never happens, the lawyers have lots of wonderful things to say about the medical illustrations I did find though! double BAH.
I decided not to post the one of how her last set were positioned... frank breech and transverse.
C'mon mama send me word!
No Jenn it really is only eleven.
I am so tired I can't even settle down to sleep....
blech.

Dear Babies...

This is the first night that I've woken up and not found a message from your mama.
I hope that means that you are curled up close to her and daddy, earthside. Or maybe you are letting her get some well needed rest tonight?
I've got terrible cough and the candle sputters such pretty shadows on the walls of the livingroom. I will miss not having the candle lit for your arrival -when you do come! I bought it a long time ago for my own birth journey. I'm so glad that it is being used for yours now. I forgot to light it on that October day and so it is being used for your day.
Sweet dreams *mama, daddy, 1st born, 1st twin and second twin.

My sleep seems to be disturbed regularly at the moment... Between three and four my body seems to feel the urge to purge a lung or two.
So I'm avoiding talking on the phone for long periods of time. And should you actually get me on the phone, I reserve the right to hang up with little to no warning... Sorry.
Just sent off this note to mama... Hoping those babies are curled up at the breast or mama is blissfully asleep.
Promise to put it up here as soon as I know these babies have arrived. We could be at this for a while still... But here is hoping that absolutely no news is the good news!!!

Somewhat jealous.

Tonight's update.
Which went out to a few people. The last few messages I've had on the computer have been just to me... so I guess the cat is out of the bag in the "community".

So I thought I would all of you an update... since I can...

It's the end of day 7 now -- of slow basically pain free (except for the
cervical pressure) labour(if you can call it that?) I'm over 8cm dilated,
the head is right there, everything is soft and squishy... and we are all
going stir crazy -- went out for dinner tonight and actually went and
picked some tomatos, and had a nap -- able to do more today than I have
most of the last few days, the pressure and contractions are just enough to
keep me occupied, without making me feel like we're making a whole lot of
progress, but obviously we are, it's just really really laid back -- unlike
everyone in my house at this point...

anyway -- in so many ways it's the labour every woman would wish for --
almost no pain, quite mellow -- would all seem like pre-labour if I wasn't
dilating so regularly if slowly. Supposedly I guess I've been in
transition the last 24 hours, but you wouldn't be able to tell. :} Babies
still wiggle around enough for me to know they are doing all right -- but
frustrations are running a bit high at this point... it ebbs and flows too
-- not sure how many more days of this we've got....

and yes -- all natural labour inducing/augmenting methods are regularly
implemented... here's hoping to be holding babies by morning, but I'm not
counting on it...

Thanks for thinking of us...
love mama to three soon to be five

Oh yes, lets hope you are holding at least one baby by now!
Thank you babies, for being so gentle on your mama. If not a little on the dawdling side. Will you two make her chronically late for everything now with your slow and putzy entrance? =)
What a great way to labour, even if it is frustrating! I remember us exchanging labour stories with our seconds (her first set of twins and my hbac)... almost identical, except her water broke and all hell broke loose over the next four hours (one frank breech, one transverse)... mine just went on and on and on, until all of a sudden he was almost out before anyone noticed! We had the same two day lead ups to finally getting down to business.
Hope you have arrived little ones. We can hardly wait to hear about you!