Okay, so the day is getting suckier...
Yes, all you purveyors of perfect English can feel free to slam me on the title.
First of all. Got a troll.
So, just because I have comment moderation on, does not mean you can't leave a comment. In fact... comments are most welcome... if they are done with respect. Comment moderation means that I am selfish and miserable enough to decline sharing with the world what nasty little vermin that are out there.
Greetings wee troll.
Why yes, I was thrilled with your comment. And more impressed in how easy it was to get it totally and completely off my blog. Amazing what one can do when they want to ... techie friend would have an easier way of going about it no doubt. But hey... when one needs to remove vile things. One does, what one can. And I'm sure I could do it again... perhaps.... kinda. Okay, so I lucked out and got it totally removed.
But, the comment is gone. So there.
sticks tongue out and gives great big pbtttttt sound effect.
That was the absolute beginning to the day. Next came m1 and school. Yeah, we aren't going there.... okay we are.
IT SUCKED.
Tears all around. In my life as a parent. I had never imagined I'd hate taking my child to school. I do.
M2 and md are both are sick. Barking like seals, snot to fill a landfill ... with or without the aid of a Kleenex box!
Husband has a concert tonight... and of course the parent council meeting for m1's school is tonight too.
Yeah, can the day get much worse?
On the bright/darkest downer ever side, my grieving friend was feeling well enough to come for a visit this afternoon. She visited with Birdies blog, which is now closed (have been given permission to visit by mama Erin) to public viewing. She also brought over a few of her completed pages for this past babes book. M1 wanted to see it... seeing as we have a not so great grip on what death is already, I was leary of him seeing it. So I explained that baby had died, like granma H... and these were photos that were taken to remember baby.
"Baby _____ didn't learn how to breathe?"
"md learned to breathe though... she was going to die, but then she learned how to breathe..."
Will someone please pick up the pieces of our hearts that R and I left on the floor this afternoon. I think we both shattered any sort of healthy healing we'd had about our last births.
R gave m1 a hug, he isn't a really huggable child. Often squirms away. This afternoon he wrapped himself around R and said he was sorry that her baby had died. It was too bad it didn't learn how to breathe, he was a good big brother and could have helped it grow up. Maybe if you have another baby... mum (me) and the midwives (who would have thought he'd remember the name of at least one of them? I can barely say her name some days!) could help that baby breathe.
Oh
My
God.
How can he be so awful at school and so ... so.... whatever this is!
In addition I'm thinking of a friend who is also experiencing a loss. I hope she is wrapped up in a blanket surrounded with support and love ... it is so hard to let go of such hopes and dreams.
So yeah... it is almost four and I'm so down all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry my eyes out!
First of all. Got a troll.
So, just because I have comment moderation on, does not mean you can't leave a comment. In fact... comments are most welcome... if they are done with respect. Comment moderation means that I am selfish and miserable enough to decline sharing with the world what nasty little vermin that are out there.
Greetings wee troll.
Why yes, I was thrilled with your comment. And more impressed in how easy it was to get it totally and completely off my blog. Amazing what one can do when they want to ... techie friend would have an easier way of going about it no doubt. But hey... when one needs to remove vile things. One does, what one can. And I'm sure I could do it again... perhaps.... kinda. Okay, so I lucked out and got it totally removed.
But, the comment is gone. So there.
sticks tongue out and gives great big pbtttttt sound effect.
That was the absolute beginning to the day. Next came m1 and school. Yeah, we aren't going there.... okay we are.
IT SUCKED.
Tears all around. In my life as a parent. I had never imagined I'd hate taking my child to school. I do.
M2 and md are both are sick. Barking like seals, snot to fill a landfill ... with or without the aid of a Kleenex box!
Husband has a concert tonight... and of course the parent council meeting for m1's school is tonight too.
Yeah, can the day get much worse?
On the bright/darkest downer ever side, my grieving friend was feeling well enough to come for a visit this afternoon. She visited with Birdies blog, which is now closed (have been given permission to visit by mama Erin) to public viewing. She also brought over a few of her completed pages for this past babes book. M1 wanted to see it... seeing as we have a not so great grip on what death is already, I was leary of him seeing it. So I explained that baby had died, like granma H... and these were photos that were taken to remember baby.
"Baby _____ didn't learn how to breathe?"
"md learned to breathe though... she was going to die, but then she learned how to breathe..."
Will someone please pick up the pieces of our hearts that R and I left on the floor this afternoon. I think we both shattered any sort of healthy healing we'd had about our last births.
R gave m1 a hug, he isn't a really huggable child. Often squirms away. This afternoon he wrapped himself around R and said he was sorry that her baby had died. It was too bad it didn't learn how to breathe, he was a good big brother and could have helped it grow up. Maybe if you have another baby... mum (me) and the midwives (who would have thought he'd remember the name of at least one of them? I can barely say her name some days!) could help that baby breathe.
Oh
My
God.
How can he be so awful at school and so ... so.... whatever this is!
In addition I'm thinking of a friend who is also experiencing a loss. I hope she is wrapped up in a blanket surrounded with support and love ... it is so hard to let go of such hopes and dreams.
So yeah... it is almost four and I'm so down all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry my eyes out!
Labels: Hell yeah, I'm depressed... want to make something of it?, in real life friends..., online friends, ptsd, the monsters
posted by k.thedoula at 15:55
1 Comments:
I'll leave you a comment that doesn't make you see red.....um....
Oh - I know!
A friend who has been helping me sort out the mess of school said the other day that the instructor in question had the memory of a goldfish. Ever since then I've been picturing this person as a big orange fish and that makes me smile. Hope it makes you smile to. Want to envision any of the troublesome folk in your life as creatures? It's fun!
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